The Naked Truth
Okay. I'm going to come clean. I know it is a stupid thing to do since this is the world wide web and the people I'll speak of might read this.
But I'm flipping out.
I guess love isn't anything for me. I mean, right now my best friend, another friend, my ex and my ex's girlfriend is sitting upstairs watching Napoleon Dynamite. I'm sitting downstairs next to the computer.
This is when you ask: Why?
I'll tell you why. I have two choices:
-> Sit upstairs unable to block the sound of my ex talking sweet talk to his new girlfriend. The ex I feel I've helped a long way, becuase I care. I will sit upstairs boiling of anger, frustration, despair and jealousy.
-> Sit down here, have no life. Cry for myself every time I can hear them laugh and feel sorry for myself. Forgetting the fact that I'm dying on the inside.
This is when you say: Oh.
I feel like curling up next to my best friend on the couch and just let her hug me. Gosh I love her. We've never been in a single fight and we seldom disagree with eachother.
Gosh. His girlfriend's laugh peirced right through me. I want to get out of here. Don't want to be with him, that's not the thing. The thing is... She's taking my place. I can't handle that. I always have a role, stick with it and stay happy. I wonder why we are built to feel like this.
Must be some kind of animal instinct. The alfa-male had to be the ultimate, and he got so pissed off when someone tried to take his place. But it's not the same thing. Why the heck do we have jealousy? Damn.. It puzzles me. Please post your thoughts about it through comments. I really want to know.
Why do we feel jealousy? Why is it a part of our nature?
I know I'm not supposed to write about the fact that I don't want my EX to have a girlfriend. It's tabu. Nonono, we're supposed to be so politically correct. Be all logical about things. I'm not supposed to wish that he doesn't have a girlfriend until I have moved on.
But this is my blog. I am entitled to write whatever I feel like!
And I don't want him to have a girlfriend. I want to be the first one to enter a healthy, serious relationship. I want to be the strong one who the other person crawls back to. I want to feel needed. I don't want to hear him say the same words to her as he did to me. I want to be able to control the world with my own hands.
Welcome to the life of a jealous ex.
But I'm flipping out.
I guess love isn't anything for me. I mean, right now my best friend, another friend, my ex and my ex's girlfriend is sitting upstairs watching Napoleon Dynamite. I'm sitting downstairs next to the computer.
This is when you ask: Why?
I'll tell you why. I have two choices:
-> Sit upstairs unable to block the sound of my ex talking sweet talk to his new girlfriend. The ex I feel I've helped a long way, becuase I care. I will sit upstairs boiling of anger, frustration, despair and jealousy.
-> Sit down here, have no life. Cry for myself every time I can hear them laugh and feel sorry for myself. Forgetting the fact that I'm dying on the inside.
This is when you say: Oh.
I feel like curling up next to my best friend on the couch and just let her hug me. Gosh I love her. We've never been in a single fight and we seldom disagree with eachother.
Gosh. His girlfriend's laugh peirced right through me. I want to get out of here. Don't want to be with him, that's not the thing. The thing is... She's taking my place. I can't handle that. I always have a role, stick with it and stay happy. I wonder why we are built to feel like this.
Must be some kind of animal instinct. The alfa-male had to be the ultimate, and he got so pissed off when someone tried to take his place. But it's not the same thing. Why the heck do we have jealousy? Damn.. It puzzles me. Please post your thoughts about it through comments. I really want to know.
Why do we feel jealousy? Why is it a part of our nature?
I know I'm not supposed to write about the fact that I don't want my EX to have a girlfriend. It's tabu. Nonono, we're supposed to be so politically correct. Be all logical about things. I'm not supposed to wish that he doesn't have a girlfriend until I have moved on.
But this is my blog. I am entitled to write whatever I feel like!
And I don't want him to have a girlfriend. I want to be the first one to enter a healthy, serious relationship. I want to be the strong one who the other person crawls back to. I want to feel needed. I don't want to hear him say the same words to her as he did to me. I want to be able to control the world with my own hands.
Welcome to the life of a jealous ex.
posted by em0 at 10:46 em
2 Comments:
Wow. That's hard to deal with- I think the neurotic approach is best-it's worked for me.
I was the 'ex downstairs from the fun' once. Drinking and guitar helped for awhile but I had to move out as I couldn't stand listening to my ex banging away with her new guy upstairs.
Best luck & nice hair!
(I love red-headed Swedes!)
Passin' thru...
I know exactly how you feel, and I've reacted to exactly the same feelings.
I've also felt I wanted to be the first one to move on.
I guess we're all ego, huh?
The thing is when I tried to deal with it, I dealt with it in a much more immature way.
I went berserk and you handled the same situation in a much better, and in my eyes, stronger way.
What happened for me was that I was hurt, just as hurt as you, but I made loads of other people hurt as well.
You really wanted to take as few as possible with you in the fall.
That's is strenght in my eyes, and I know you're gonna move on...
...and even if you don't want to, I'll still be here for you, as I've promised, babe.
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