ergh is the winner!

Finally! My first critique! I don't know if that is how you spell it. But it looks good. ANOTHER thing that looks good is this comment over here ---->

ergh is writing about how sucky my other post was. Or, as he/she puts it: "...why are you being so attention sick? I really find your last post amusing..." and later on: "you gotta deal with it somehow instead of whining about how lowsy sweden as a country is".

My God, that was fantastic! He/she (I'll call ergh a he because his name sound pretty manly. Like.. A barbarian yalp) is totally right! I was whining and stuff about Sweden. Why don't I do something? Well. I am. I am writing about my opinions. I can't really run for mayor. First of all: We don't have mayors. Second of all: Well, we don't really need a second of all, do we?

But I am planning my own political party and spreading my joy and happiness. I might SEEM like a whiner but I really am a bundle of Joy! And trust me, I am trying to fix this whole situation of dead fish in my sea. I do not write anything here until it's the last thing to do.

I am dedicating this post to ergh. Spreading his true opinion.
Yalp.

Italian lover wanted.

Damnit. Damnitdamnitdamnit.

Okay. Am I really gross or something? Am I like, totally unlovable in this snowy country up in nowhere? Seriously, I feel so outa place.

I was over in the States for four weeks. That's how I started the summer vacation. And it was the greatest start. Because over there I'm the Sweet Swede and people enjoy me being in the room.

"Oh, you're from SWEDEN? Please, step on in, we saved a seat for you! Groar!"

Over here? Nothing. Not even a damn whistle. No looks. Oh yeah, I get the looks. The: "What the fudge are you wearing? Is that BLACK? Is that a SMILE on your face? Damn you, rot in a cave somewhere"-look.

Oh, but the States. You have smeet Italian guys who are backpacking and who are called Luigi and who go to museums. GAH. Give me him now.

Because I've tried this stupid Sweden thing for two weeks now. I haven't even gotten a smile. Or, yeah I have.. But not THAT smile, the "Oh dear, you are so beautiful. Sure, this can't be the last time we meet?"-smile.

Sure, I've gotten smiles.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I made out with you a while back but I don't see you the same way now"-smile.

"Ohno, not you again.. I thought I told you..? Well, allright. Hello to you too"-smile.

"Oh yeah, sure. YESTERDAY I was all over you and encouraged you to do lot's of stuff. But that was before I told you I have a girlfriend. It was just something to do yesterday"-smile.

Damnitdamnitdamnit.

Give me my Italian Lover.

Swedish News

(excuse the poor grammar, I'm not used to the written language of news papers)

Okay, so... This isn't really a serious blog, compared to others... So people might not think I am interested in politics.. WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.

And why is that in capital letters? Because right now I'm pretty pissed. Sweden might be one of the best countries in the World, I love it dearly, but the laws are pretty messed up. Or.. The punishments I should say.

There is this case in Sweden that has been haunting us for a long time. In an area around a town called Haga there have been a number of rapes who seem to be fullfilled by one man. The same man. He has been called "Hagamannen" - the man from Haga.

Thrusday, 20th of July, a news paper called Stockholm City (equivelant to the "Metro") let us know what the veridict was:



"HAGAMANNEN GETS 14 YEARS
Niklas Lindgren committed two attemps of murder and five rapes"

Yes, that's true. He got 14 years. Now.. He raped FIVE people and TWO of them he was threatening to murder. (and let me add the fact that the judge didn't pledge him guilty for another rape of a fifteen year old girl, because someone lost the evidence since there was no place for it.)

In the yellow box there are some interesting facts...



"Five women recieve 857 000 kr because of damage"
($1 = 7 kr. 857 000 kr = $ 122 430)

Woman A (rape, attempted murder)= Wanted 369 000 kr, got 314 000 kr
Woman B (rape)= Wanted 33 144 kr, got 11 594 kr
Woman C (rape)= Wanted 42 000 kr, got 5000 kr
Woman D (rape)= Wanted 95 000 kr, got nothing (this is the case I wrote about)
Woman E (attempted rape)= Wanted and got 42 100 kr
Woman F (heavy rape, attemted murder)= Wanted 320 000 kr, got 220 000 kr

And I don't know... Maybe they added some kronor because they knew they wouldn't get that amount but... Seriously.. That's pretty sad. But the saddest part is the fact that Sweden is ahead of alot of countries.

And I am not saying the Judge or Jury did anything wrong, because 14 years is the longest punishment anyone can get in Sweden. THAT'S what I'm pissed about.

Or "I sentence you to life in prison!" equals 8 years for some. Because what it means is you're in prison 'til the government let's you out. Who lives 8 years? Oh, yeah. The person who was killed by a guy in jail.

BUT I HAVE SOME FUN STUFF TOO

Now, it's probably hard to understand it if you don't speak Swedish, but it's hilarious.



Hilarious. Apparently we use the same word for 'over-weight' as we do when we mean 'majority'.

"Audience: 5 500 people in all ages, with a slight majority amongst 40-year olds."

I love Stockholm City.

Allan säger:
just for you, a song is played here in nowhere, USA!

YES! A song about Sweden was played at Richmond Indie Radio! Because I was listening!

Thank you!

Breaking the speedlimit

I went to my friends house the other day. I brought my moped too. It weighs about ten pounds and is driven by a 6 Volts motor. Means: You walk past it.

We did some experimenting, and it was quite interesting. We realized pretty quick we had to go downhill since it was made for 5-year olds who way at the most 30 kg (slightly more than 60 pounds). I'm not gonna say what I weigh, but It's more than that.



Yeah, that's right! WE HAVE A TAPE RECORDER! It's probably from the eighties and only works in the sun. And in a specific angle.. And if you put som weight on the back. Err.. It almost works.



As you see, the speed is unbreakable! It is madness! I actually got a boo-boo on my left knee because I scraped it against the DANGEROUS asphalt! As you see below, it was very hard to tame the best of 6 VOLTS!



And, if THAT wasn't enough, it also improves your MANLINESS with 130% ! See how manly Adam is below:

Speechless

I have seen the height of advertising. It is unbeatable! Genious! I am so moved. It is the best I've ever seen!



Admit it! My hat and socks off to the advertiser. I love it.

Tribute

Daily Nooz

I'll let it speak for itself. I peed in my pants a little.

Where am I?

Ohno, sweet people. I was blown away!

It was amazing... This tornado came and blew me away! It swept me off my feet!

(hehe, get it?)

Yes, and being stranded on this island evolved this crazy humour! Tell me anything and I will laugh my booty off. Or actually.. Booty is a boot right? Like.. A shoe?

It doesn't matter. Because I am alive. The only pictures I have are in the sand, so I can't prove my exsistance. You just have to believe me! Or if you find this in the sand, it's my self portrait:



I have wandered and wandered for ever to get home to you, dear readers! Yes, both of you! And now I am back. Back to write and sing and play! I have been gone for very long, I know. There is a picture to prove it too!



But I am back and I will post stuff here. Hey, where are you going?